Written by Ste / TarotCat
Do you have a problem you’d like help with? Every month, Uncle Ste asks his cards a question from our readers, giving a unique insight into the root of your issue. Ste is a tarot reader, fully qualified counsellor, and also runs a LGBT helpline. All of these things inform how he works with the cards – his tarot readings are creative, fun, empowering and inclusive. He is a considerate and experienced person-centred reader who uses tarot as a kind of esoteric therapy, rather than as a future predictor.
My wife and I have been divorced for two years, but for most of that time I remained in the same house, mostly to provide stability for our two lovely children. Recently she asked me to move out, since her boyfriend was uncomfortable with me living there, so I went. Now the boyfriend has dumped her, and she wants me to move back into the house. She isn’t pleasant to me, but I am concerned that while I am not there she is subtly but surely trying to turn the children against me. I am considering moving back to save my relationship with the children. Can the cards help me to decide what is best for the children?
Thanks for getting in touch about this. This feels like a really confusing and emotional time for you. I will certainly ask the cards for some guidance on some immediate concerns here, but I also feel that some other support such as counselling could be really helpful, to help you deeply explore the whole picture before making your decision. Me think it needs some deep exploring! Having said that, I hope that my reading gives you some food for thought – at least as a starting point.
For your reading, I used the Nicoletta Ceccoli Tarot and I drew one card for some guidance. The card I drew was the 8 of Wands.
8’s in tarot are powerful numbers representing power, control and a sense of authority in our own lives. Wands are the suit of fire, our psycho-spiritual needs, our passions in life; the things we do because they make us tick.
It’s a funny card to appear for a question where it feels like your fear is the driving factor in your decision making – fear that your wife will turn your children against you, which is an understandable fear. When I think about you I can see you imagining nightmare scenarios where she has these little digs about you to the children, and the sleepless nights you’re having over it. That must be so concerning for you as a parent. And yet, here we have this card showing power, control, passion and strength. Why could that be?
In the card’s image, a child-like looking feminine figure sits with her eyes closed in what looks like a wedding dress. She holds up strings with floating fireflies attached to them; they float up into the air like helium balloons while she grips them tightly. Her ballerina-like legs seem to be bent into an impossible position, perhaps from the stress of trying to hold all of these fireflies into position. Do you have your eyes closed to what’s actually happening with your kids at home? What gives you the impression that your wife is turning them against you? Are you desperately trying to hold things together with all of your strength? This card acknowledges that it takes a lot of strength to even consider moving back in, especially as she is being unpleasant towards you, and that you would really need to tap into your power on a daily basis to make it work in the same home again. Sounds exhausting to me! This card also asks you to make a decision quickly on this (if you haven’t already!) as leaving everything up in the air is proving stressful for you all.
Another feeling when I look at the girl in this card is one of potential manipulation. Could this girl in the image also be representing your wife, holding all of the strings, keeping everyone under her control, letting you move away but not too far in case she needs you again? If I understand it right, she asked you to leave because she had a new boyfriend, and then asked you to move back in once he finished with her. When I write that down like that, how do you feel? If I asked you the best way to harness your great creative strength in this situation, what would you say?
As a final note, Wands are often the suit of creativity and if there is a passion in life that you’ve felt yourself finally taking up again after leaving the family home, something that’s really given you a new lease of life, do you want to risk losing the freedom to do that? Will you the happy parent you’d need to be for your kids if you moved back, or would all of you be happier if you were to see them regularly as your own free person?
I realise that there’s so many questions here and not many answers! It felt like the best approach in this situation, as only you know what to do. I hope the questions posed by the tarot help you to get the answers that you need.
All the best with everything,
Ste (The Tarot Cat)
Would love to hear your view of this situation in the comments, and if you’d like to contact me directly, visit me at the Tarot Cat website.