Nic has been a TABI member for a little while and currently chief tinkerer on the TABI blog. She has decided to share a little pickle that she is sure some other people may have discovered.This is simply a take on the world from Nic’s point of view.
So here’s a thought and one which often bugged me. What do
you do if you feel that you naturally incline towards things like tarot,
spirituralism, mediumship, tea leaves, witchcraft, reiki – whatever it is, and
yet you tend to lean on the negative side of life?
You see, one of my personal great lessons of life is just that. I am not a well
of positive vibes and, if I’m honest, my glass isn’t just half empty it’s
sprung three cracks and rolled off the table! It’s a challenge I’ve found as
many articles tempt you in with promises that the spiritual side to life is
calling you in because you need to learn to be positive and then you’re cracked
off the head with articles telling you, you can’t achieve anything with a
negative frame of mind.
No one addresses the part in the middle. Getting from A to
B. Also, side note – a swift whack to the ol’ self esteem by saying we can’t
achieve anything isn’t the best way to get us moving forward in a positive way.
This article is a musing and a little anecdote on my own
trials as someone who steeps happily in witchcraft, crystals and tarot and yet
isn’t anywhere near the poster-girl for it.
First of all – a little tough love. Absolutely coming into a
more eco-friendly, nature-inspired way of life and embracing knowledge and life
as it is can be a wonderful thing for your health but! And it’s a big but. It
can’t over-ride everything and won’t “cure” things, which a few articles I’ve
seen in the past claim. If you do have mental health issues, emotional issues,
while this way of life can help you manage your issues, you should always still
seek support (see below).
What can I say other than, you can do it. Sometimes
(translates – if I ever remember!) I will list of positive things about myself,
I’ve seen a lot of resources to say stuff like “I am a beautiful person”, “I
love my life”. I settle for “look, you can look worse lady”, “you’re a [[enter expletive
here]] caring person” and “it takes some serious [[more effing and jeffing!]]
mettle to stay true to who you are as a person”.
It’s not an attempt to be funny but I’m not cut out to be
flowery and I’m don’t see the point in reciting some words that mean nothing to
me. I push myself to work when I feel ill by telling myself that I’m not a
chump not because I tell myself I’m still going to have a good day.
Largely though – I just get on with it. I centre and ground
myself. So, life is getting on top of me and I feel like the world’s worst
invention. That’s alright, if not me then what do I like then? I meditate and
think of nature (which is what I like), feel rain hammering down onto me, feel
myself fall into a loch. The symbolism itself isn’t all airy fairy – rain,
thunder, snowstorms, it generally has a connotation of something negative,
something foreboding. But it’s what I like and it’s my home – no one is telling
me what my happy place can and can’t be. Once I even imagined myself in a
warehouse in the dark with a dull flickering orange bulb with moths scurrying
about and I just drew all over the walls and floors. It worked because it’s
what I had to express.
Here’s the thing.
Life is full of abstract thoughts and it’s full of differences. We are all
individual and that’s okay to not be a starling example of something. I knead
my dough when making break visualising what I want and pour love into that
moment and let me tell you – I make a fine, tasty bread and I manifest things
just fine. I literally can’t seem to read a tarot deck that looks beautiful and
romantic and I get on better with decks which have a dark streak or a mean
sense of humour – but I read my cards just fine.
This is by no stretch of the imagination extensive and
exhausting. I do look to reign myself in when thoughts get a little carried
away with the negative side but then often, I just embrace it with meditating
with symbolism that I find beautiful, even if it is “dark”. Bats and spiders
are beautiful, amazing creatures with incredible lives and ways of survival, so
why should I shun it? The dark is quiet and yet it still teems with life and
energy so why should I avoid it?
All I’m saying in this article is that if you’ve read stories
about how you have to start telling yourself you love yourself and that you
have to see the glass as overflowing with how full it is – it’s wrong. And if
you read that spiritualism will cure you’re “bad” mind-set – it’s wrong.
Everyone is perfectly valid and we are all perfectly imperfect in some way or
Be who you are and strive to be the best version of that
person. No spiritual practice will ever turn its back on you just because you
aren’t what other people think you’re supposed to be.
Note: This is the important bit. If you want spiritualism to give you answers, that’s fine. If you want it to balance your life, that’s great. If you want it to “cure” then you might be in for a disappointment. Nothing can replace support whether it’s talking to someone you know or a doctor, helpline etc. All are confidential and can be done privately and some such as The Samaritans in the UK can do an e-mail service so no awkward phone calls.