Nic has been a TABI member for a little while and currently chief tinkerer on the TABI blog. She has decided to share a little pickle that she is sure some other people may have discovered. This is simply a take on the world from Nic’s point of view.

So here’s a thought and one which often bugged me. What do you do if you feel that you naturally incline towards things like tarot, spirituralism, mediumship, tea leaves, witchcraft, reiki – whatever it is, and yet you tend to lean on the negative side of life?

You see, one of my personal great lessons of life is just that. I am not a well of positive vibes and, if I’m honest, my glass isn’t just half empty it’s sprung three cracks and rolled off the table! It’s a challenge I’ve found as many articles tempt you in with promises that the spiritual side to life is calling you in because you need to learn to be positive and then you’re cracked off the head with articles telling you, you can’t achieve anything with a negative frame of mind.

Wild Unknown Tarot – Kim Krans

No one addresses the part in the middle. Getting from A to B. Also, side note – a swift whack to the ol’ self esteem by saying we can’t achieve anything isn’t the best way to get us moving forward in a positive way.

This article is a musing and a little anecdote on my own trials as someone who steeps happily in witchcraft, crystals and tarot and yet isn’t anywhere near the poster-girl for it.

First of all – a little tough love. Absolutely coming into a more eco-friendly, nature-inspired way of life and embracing knowledge and life as it is can be a wonderful thing for your health but! And it’s a big but. It can’t over-ride everything and won’t “cure” things, which a few articles I’ve seen in the past claim. If you do have mental health issues, emotional issues, while this way of life can help you manage your issues, you should always still seek support (see below).

What can I say other than, you can do it. Sometimes (translates – if I ever remember!) I will list of positive things about myself, I’ve seen a lot of resources to say stuff like “I am a beautiful person”, “I love my life”. I settle for “look, you can look worse lady”, “you’re a [[enter expletive here]] caring person” and “it takes some serious [[more effing and jeffing!]] mettle to stay true to who you are as a person”.   

Tattoo Tarot – MEGAMUNDEN

It’s not an attempt to be funny but I’m not cut out to be flowery and I’m don’t see the point in reciting some words that mean nothing to me. I push myself to work when I feel ill by telling myself that I’m not a chump not because I tell myself I’m still going to have a good day.

Largely though – I just get on with it. I centre and ground myself. So, life is getting on top of me and I feel like the world’s worst invention. That’s alright, if not me then what do I like then? I meditate and think of nature (which is what I like), feel rain hammering down onto me, feel myself fall into a loch. The symbolism itself isn’t all airy fairy – rain, thunder, snowstorms, it generally has a connotation of something negative, something foreboding. But it’s what I like and it’s my home – no one is telling me what my happy place can and can’t be. Once I even imagined myself in a warehouse in the dark with a dull flickering orange bulb with moths scurrying about and I just drew all over the walls and floors. It worked because it’s what I had to express.

Here’s the thing.

Life is full of abstract thoughts and it’s full of differences. We are all individual and that’s okay to not be a starling example of something. I knead my dough when making break visualising what I want and pour love into that moment and let me tell you – I make a fine, tasty bread and I manifest things just fine. I literally can’t seem to read a tarot deck that looks beautiful and romantic and I get on better with decks which have a dark streak or a mean sense of humour – but I read my cards just fine.

Deviant Moon – Patrick Valenza

This is by no stretch of the imagination extensive and exhausting. I do look to reign myself in when thoughts get a little carried away with the negative side but then often, I just embrace it with meditating with symbolism that I find beautiful, even if it is “dark”. Bats and spiders are beautiful, amazing creatures with incredible lives and ways of survival, so why should I shun it? The dark is quiet and yet it still teems with life and energy so why should I avoid it?

All I’m saying in this article is that if you’ve read stories about how you have to start telling yourself you love yourself and that you have to see the glass as overflowing with how full it is – it’s wrong. And if you read that spiritualism will cure you’re “bad” mind-set – it’s wrong. Everyone is perfectly valid and we are all perfectly imperfect in some way or another.

Be who you are and strive to be the best version of that person. No spiritual practice will ever turn its back on you just because you aren’t what other people think you’re supposed to be.

Tarot Del Fuego – Ricardo Cavolo


This is the important bit. If you want spiritualism to give you answers, that’s fine. If you want it to balance your life, that’s great. If you want it to “cure” then you might be in for a disappointment. Nothing can replace support whether it’s talking to someone you know or a doctor, helpline etc. All are confidential and can be done privately and some such as The Samaritans in the UK can do an e-mail service so no awkward phone calls.  

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