Quirky Questions

Quirky Questions: Self Harming

Written by: Ste / The Tarot Cat

Do you have a problem you’d like help with?  Every month, Uncle Ste asks his cards a question from our readers, giving a unique insight into the root of your issue. Ste is a tarot reader, fully qualified counsellor, and also runs a LGBT helpline. All of these things inform how he works with the cards – his tarot readings are creative, fun, empowering and inclusive. He is a considerate and experienced person-centred reader who uses tarot as a kind of esoteric therapy, rather than as a future predictor.

Dear TarotCat,
I struggled with self harm when I was younger for many years. It defined me as a person it was so intense and labelled with school – left to rot basically. A few years back I was diagnosed with a dissociative disorder (which was based on any psychic-spiritual experiences I had). Sometimes I feel overwhelmed that I’m basically a farce, the same person years ago who had to hurt to cope. A waste with a disorder. I’m not disputing the disorder or asking about it but rather would like to ask if the cards can help me see the truth of where I stand with being a reader. I just don’t know to trust intuition or if its tricks.
Regards,

Jane [name changed]

dav

Hi there Jane,

Firstly, thank you for sharing your difficult history with us. It sounds as if you spent your childhood being labelled and defined by your struggles, and that it’s hard to avoid doing that to yourself in adulthood (at least at times). I know you didn’t ask about that directly, but I did just want to say that there is no shame in having a dissociative disorder. I myself have struggled with my mental health to a degree where medication was needed, and I never found my mental health or use of medication to interfere with reading tarot! I don’t know if that’s what you were getting at in your question, but if so, please don’t let your mental health diagnosis get in the way of you exploring this amazing, beautiful tool.

I pulled a card to explore your question. From the Tarot of the Cat People deck, I pulled the King of Pentacles.

This is such a powerful figure in the tarot Jane. In fact, some would say it is one of the strongest figures in the whole tarot deck. Pentacles are very much the practical suit in the deck, the suit that relates to the element of earth. In many cases, this can be relating to work or finances, but as we have been asked a different kind of question, we’re going to get a more interesting kind of answer. That’s the beauty of tarot!

The King of Pentacles stands proud, extremely confident, and happily shows off his elaborate crown and clothing to whoever stands before him. The cats present in the image are extravagant – a Jaguar at his feet, and a tiny, rather cocky-looking kitty balancing on his cane! Everything screams pride, excess and confidence.

So, how is this relating to you Jane? Well, it seems to me that your major issue here is trusting yourself, your intuition. I wonder if you are currently acting like the opposite to the King of Pentacles? Do people in your life even know that you read tarot? Are you finding any opportunities to practise on others, either in-person or online/email etc? How do you present your tarot interest to others? Do you hide it, or perhaps put yourself down in the process, the old “I read a bit of tarot but I’m no good at it really”?

The King is here to help you balance that out. I acknowledge that when you are unsure of your tarot skills, becoming like the King of Pentacles isn’t going to happen overnight. The thing is, you don’t need to become like him. But you need to emulate some of his power. You asked if you can trust your intuition, or if it tricks. That’s a really complicated question but in short, the answer is yes, sometimes your intuition can be wrong. It’s not always correct, and all tarot readers make mistakes. We have to be able to accept that and go for it regardless. I gave a refund to someone once for doing such a bad reading – it happens! – but you have to allow yourself to do it seriously and to do it with full confidence and pride. Once you trust your intuition, mistakes will be rare.

This King not only brings a message of confidence in yourself, but also investment. Now I’m not talking about going out and spending a whole lot of money on things that you can’t afford. I’m talking about investing in yourself being a reader, making that commitment and statement to yourself. More confidence will follow, I promise. Has there been some tarot-related equipment that you’ve wanted (a beautiful new deck, some related tarot items to help you read) that haven’t invested in just ‘in case I’m totally rubbish’? That’s the demon, confidence-killer sabotaging this. Bring in the King, and get what it is that you need, even if you have to save up for it. Just knowing that you have made the decision to go out and put the faith in yourself will help you tremendously. It’s a little bit like casting a spell – you set the intention to be a good tarot reader, and it will happen for you. There are also lots of different ways you can read these days. I do most readings by email and only do very occasional in-person readings/parties. That feels right for me, I prefer it that way. What might work for you?

Finally, remember the pride of the king. Tarot is amazing, and I honestly believe that it rubs off on us, and makes us readers a little bit more amazing too 🙂 Put your faith in the cards, and allow that faith to slowly rub off on yourself. Stand tall and King-like, bluff it, and ‘fake it till you make it’ – that’s what the King of Pentacles is screaming out at you here!

All the best with everything Jane. I trust that you have support with everything else that you’re going through but just in case, check in on our support organisations page. I wish you all the best, you’re going to be great at this!

Ste (The Tarot Cat)

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Would love to hear your view of this situation in the comments, and if you’d like to contact me directly, visit me at the Tarot Cat website.

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